I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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