If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Houston, we have a blender
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
