her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize