So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
