Those balls look pretty dangerous.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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