you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
