so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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