I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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