Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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