He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
