I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
