actually, I'm a sock model
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
