her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
