LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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