i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
