When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
