we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You ruined the universe
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
