this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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