Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
