I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize