Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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