woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize