You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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