i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
