i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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