Your tits are I can't wait for
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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