in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
