So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
