You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
