Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
