i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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