When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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