About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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