Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
