i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
