Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
