I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
