so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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