apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
this boner is exhausting
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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