how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
