Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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