I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
do herpes really smell.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
