I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
