i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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