when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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