I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
