is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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