Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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