At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
