Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
