is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
