we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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