i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im six kinds of drunk right now
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
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If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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