Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
