let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
did i just pee glitter
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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