He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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