Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
