He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
